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Valentine’s Day is often framed as a celebration of romantic love, but many people experience it in very different ways. For some, it is joyful and intimate. For others, it can feel performative, lonely, complicated, or simply not relevant.

I want to acknowledge Valentine’s Day without assuming that romance is everyone’s priority, or that partnership is the only kind of love worth celebrating. Care also lives in friendship, chosen family, community, and in the way we treat ourselves when no one is watching.

If today is meaningful for you, I hope it feels consensual, gentle, and true to your real life rather than someone else’s script. And if today is not for you, I hope you feel no pressure to participate.

Love does not need a performance. It needs care.

Gareth

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About the Author: Gareth Redfern-Shaw

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Gareth is the founder of Consent Culture, a platform focused on consent, kink, ethical non-monogamy, relationship dynamics, and the work of creating safer spaces. His work emphasizes meaningful, judgment-free conversations around communication, harm reduction, and accountability in practice, not just in name. Through Consent Culture, he aims to inspire curiosity, build trust, and support a safer, more connected world. Read Why I created Consent Culture if you want to learn more about Gareth, and his past.

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