If The Jealousy Workbook is about surviving the emotional spikes of being poly, The Polyamory Breakup Book is about what happens when the whole foundation cracks. Breakups are brutal enough in monogamy; in polyamory they can feel like ripping out one thread and watching the whole web tremble. Labriola dives into that particular grief with compassion, honesty, and practical guidance.

What It’s About

Labriola frames breakups not as proof that poly “doesn’t work,” but as part of the reality of loving multiple people. The book draws from her counselling practice and interviews with poly folks to map out:

• Why breakups happen in ENM. Sometimes it’s the usual reasons (mismatched needs, incompatibility), but often it’s specific to poly — unbalanced hierarchies, compersion fatigue, or pressure from metamour conflicts.
• The unique pain of poly breakups. Losing a partner can also mean losing an entire polycule, community, or chosen family.
• How to navigate grief. From rituals to journaling, Labriola gives tools for moving through pain without erasing the good that was shared.
• Lessons learned. Each chapter leans on real stories to illustrate not just endings, but how to integrate those endings into a healthier poly practice.

Strengths

• Validating. Poly breakups often get trivialised (“Well, you still have your other partners, so what’s the big deal?”). Labriola treats them as real losses that deserve grieving.
• Practical support. Like her jealousy book, this one is packed with exercises — grief work, self-assessment, strategies for maintaining or gracefully exiting community ties.
• Community-aware. Labriola recognises that in ENM, a breakup isn’t just two people splitting; it’s often a ripple that hits multiple people.

Weaknesses

• Heavy tone. As the subject demands, it’s not a light or uplifting book. Some readers may feel weighed down by the case studies.
• Workbook framing. Again, it’s exercise-heavy. If you’re looking for narrative storytelling or philosophical framing, you won’t find it here.
• Less theory, more triage. Unlike Polysecure or Polywise, this isn’t about long-term relational design — it’s about picking up the pieces.

Why It Still Matters

Polyamory literature often skews aspirational: joy, abundance, compersion, freedom. But the truth is, many polyamorous journeys end in heartbreak — sometimes quietly, sometimes explosively. The Polyamory Breakup Book is one of the few that says, “Yes, this hurts. Yes, it’s complicated. And yes, you can survive it.”

It’s not a book you read when everything is going well. It’s the one you reach for when the dream has shattered, when you’re questioning whether poly is even possible for you, and when you need someone who’s been there to guide you through the wreckage.

Related reading

These pieces continue the same thread around books and resource reviews.

• Opening Up – Tristan Taormino
• Open Deeply – Kate Loree
• The Ethical Slut – Dossie Easton & Janet Hardy