If there’s one dragon that haunts almost every non-monogamous relationship, it’s jealousy. You can read all the manifestos about freedom and abundance, but sooner or later, the green-eyed monster taps you on the shoulder. Kathy Labriola’s The Jealousy Workbook is the practical antidote — less lofty theory, more roll-up-your-sleeves worksheets designed to tame jealousy and transform it into insight.

What It’s About

Labriola is a counsellor who has worked with polyamorous, kinky, and queer clients for decades. She knows the terrain, and she knows how jealousy shows up: in your body, in your thoughts, in your late-night spirals while your partner is out on a date.

The book is built around structured exercises:

• Journaling prompts to unpack where jealousy comes from.
• Visualisation and mindfulness practices to ground yourself.
• Scenarios and role-plays for couples (or triads, or polycules) to practice together.
• Worksheets that ask blunt questions like, “What is the story I’m telling myself right now? What evidence do I actually have?”

Labriola reframes jealousy not as a moral failing, but as a signal. It’s pointing to underlying insecurities, unmet needs, or attachment fears — and those can be worked with.

Strengths

• Extremely practical. This isn’t a book you just read; it’s one you do. If you commit to the exercises, you come out with tools you can actually use in the heat of jealousy.
• Poly-aware. Unlike general self-help books, it’s written for people who really are juggling multiple partners, metamours, and complicated dynamics.
• Normalising. Labriola takes away the shame. Feeling jealous doesn’t mean you’re bad at poly; it means you’re human.

Weaknesses

• Workbook style. If you’re not into filling out worksheets or journaling, it may feel like homework.
• Tone. It’s straightforward and practical, but less poetic or inspiring than other books. Some readers want reassurance and vision as well as tools.
• Dated framing. While still relevant, some of the cultural references and health advice feel rooted in the 2000s.

Why It Still Matters

Every polyamorous person eventually asks themselves, “How do I deal with jealousy?” Labriola’s book remains one of the few that takes that question seriously and provides structured, concrete answers. It doesn’t make jealousy vanish, but it makes it understandable, workable, and even a doorway into self-knowledge.

In short: The Jealousy Workbook is less a book you curl up with in bed, and more a toolkit you keep on the shelf for the nights when your stomach is in knots and you need a lifeline.

Related reading

These pieces continue the same thread around books and resource reviews.

• Open Deeply – Kate Loree
• The Polyamory Breakup Book – Kathy Labriola
• The Polyamory Toolkit – Dan & Dawn Williams