First published in 1996, The Topping Book: Or, Getting Good at Being Bad was one of the first widely available texts to demystify dominance and topping in the BDSM world. Written by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy (before they co-authored The Ethical Slut), it set out to explain what it actually means to be “the top” in kink play — beyond stereotypes of leather-clad sadists or authoritarian bullies.

What It’s About

At its heart, The Topping Book reframes topping as a consensual service and skillset rather than a free pass to take what you want. It covers:

• Why people top. Exploring motivation, desire, and the thrill of consensual power exchange.

• Communication and negotiation. How to talk about limits and fantasies before the scene.

• Reading the bottom. Tuning into body language, subtle cues, and emotional energy.

• Practical guidance. Safety basics, pacing, and crafting scenes.

• Psychology and presence. The mindset that makes topping ethical and rewarding.

The tone is playful, a little cheeky, and very much aimed at making topping feel approachable rather than intimidating.

Strengths

• Trailblazing. One of the first books to legitimise topping as an art form grounded in care.

• Accessible. Written in plain language with humour and personal anecdotes.

• Affirming. Makes readers feel that topping can be fun, ethical, and deeply rewarding.

Weaknesses

• Shows its age. Published in the mid-90s, some cultural references and attitudes are dated.

• Less nuanced. Compared to later texts, it’s light on the deeper psychological and ethical complexities of power.

• Slim volume. More of a primer than a comprehensive manual.

Why It Still Matters

The Topping Book broke ground by showing that topping isn’t about being cruel or callous — it’s about co-creating intensity with care and intention. For many in the BDSM community, it was the first book that made dominance feel both safe and sexy.

That said, the book has since been revised and expanded in The New Topping Book (2001), which offers updated perspectives and greater depth. If you’re curious about the history of kink literature, the original is still worth a read. But if you’re looking for guidance that reflects today’s culture of consent and communication, the newer edition is the one to prioritise.