First published in 2001 as a sequel to the original Topping Book, this edition reimagines what it means to take the dominant role in BDSM and power exchange. Written by Dossie Easton (co-author of The Ethical Slut), it’s playful yet grounded, focused not on control for its own sake but on creating consent-driven, collaborative, and deeply pleasurable encounters.

What It’s About

Easton takes topping out of the realm of stereotype and into the realm of skill and ethics:

  • The psychology of topping. Why people are drawn to dominance, and how to explore it without falling into abusive dynamics.

  • Communication and negotiation. How to discuss limits, fantasies, and desires so everyone feels safe and seen.

  • Body language and energy. Reading your partner, noticing subtle shifts, and adjusting in real time.

  • Aftercare and responsibility. Why topping doesn’t end when the scene does — and how to hold space for the person you’re playing with.

  • Personal stories. Anecdotes from Easton’s own life and the community that bring theory into lived practice.

Strengths

  • Warm, witty, and human — Easton makes topping approachable.

  • Balances theory and lived experience.

  • Frames dominance as service and care, not entitlement.

Weaknesses

  • Cultural references show its age in places.

  • Less structured than newer manuals — more philosophy than step-by-step instruction.

Why It Still Matters

The New Topping Book is a gentle reminder that dominance is not about being in charge but about co-creating experiences of trust and intensity. For new tops, it’s an encouraging invitation. For veterans, it’s a chance to reflect on the deeper meaning behind their play. It remains a cornerstone of kink literature because it treats topping as both art and relationship.

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About the Author: Gareth Redfern-Shaw

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Gareth is the founder of Consent Culture, a platform focused on consent, kink, ethical non-monogamy, relationship dynamics, and the work of creating safer spaces. His work emphasizes meaningful, judgment-free conversations around communication, harm reduction, and accountability in practice, not just in name. Through Consent Culture, he aims to inspire curiosity, build trust, and support a safer, more connected world. Read Why I created Consent Culture if you want to learn more about Gareth, and his past.

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