Before The Ethical Slut made non-monogamy sexy and before More Than Two codified it into philosophy, Deborah Anapol was already writing about love in expansive, spiritual terms. Originally published in the early 1990s, Love Without Limits feels less like a guidebook and more like a manifesto for a cultural and spiritual revolution.

What It’s About

Anapol approaches polyamory not as a lifestyle hack, but as part of a wider human evolution. To her, loving multiple people openly isn’t just about relationships — it’s about dismantling scarcity, rethinking family, and embracing a more compassionate, interconnected world.

The book blends:

• Philosophy. Love as abundant, not finite.
• Spirituality. Non-monogamy as a path to enlightenment, self-knowledge, and freedom.
• Sociology. Critiques of marriage, ownership, and cultural control of sexuality.
• Practice. Though lighter on “how-to,” she still offers thoughts on communication, jealousy, and honesty.

If The Ethical Slut feels like a how-to for enjoying yourself, Love Without Limits reads more like a call to consciousness.

Strengths

• Visionary tone. Anapol was ahead of her time, framing polyamory not just as personal choice but as a cultural shift.
• Spiritual grounding. For readers who see love as part of a bigger human or even cosmic journey, this resonates deeply.
• Big-picture thinking. The book connects ENM to politics, economics, and philosophy in ways later texts often avoided.

Weaknesses

• Abstract and airy. If you’re looking for concrete tools, you’ll find less here than in Taormino or Fern.
• Dated. The language, cultural references, and lack of trauma-informed awareness make it feel very “90s new age.”
• Not universally appealing. If you’re allergic to spiritual framing, this book will frustrate you.

Why It Still Matters

Though less widely read today, Love Without Limits set the stage for much of what followed. It argued that polyamory wasn’t just a personal lifestyle—it was a social and spiritual practice that could challenge the very foundations of how we organise love, sex, and family.

In that sense, it’s less of a “poly how-to” and more of a “poly why.” For readers drawn to the philosophy and spirituality of ENM, Anapol remains a voice worth revisiting, even if newer books have updated the tools.

Related reading

These pieces continue the same thread around books and resource reviews.

• The Ethical Slut – Dossie Easton & Janet Hardy
• Open Deeply – Kate Loree
• Beyond Monogamy – Mimi Schippers