Published in 2022, Jessica Fern’s The Polysecure Workbook: Healing Your Attachment and Creating Security in Loving Relationships is the practical companion to her widely acclaimed book Polysecure. While Polysecure explained how attachment theory intersects with consensual non-monogamy, this workbook translates those insights into exercises, reflections, and guided practices to help readers apply the ideas to their own lives and relationships.

What It’s About

The workbook is structured to help people identify their attachment patterns and work toward greater security, whether in polyamorous, open, or monogamous dynamics. It includes:

• Attachment self-assessment. Tools to help readers identify whether they lean anxious, avoidant, disorganised, or secure.

• Guided reflections. Prompts and journaling exercises to explore fears, needs, and triggers in relationships.

• Partner exercises. Activities designed for couples, triads, or polycules to increase communication and trust.

• Embodiment practices. Breathing, grounding, and mindfulness techniques to regulate attachment-driven anxiety.

• Building secure bonds. Step-by-step guidance for cultivating security across multiple relationships, including how to navigate jealousy, compersion, and shifting dynamics.

Strengths

• Practical and interactive. Moves beyond theory into usable, real-world tools.

• Flexible format. Can be used solo, with a partner, or in group settings.

• Attachment meets ENM. Bridges psychological theory with the lived complexity of polyamory.

Weaknesses

• Requires emotional labour. Not a casual read — the exercises ask for time, honesty, and vulnerability.

• Better with Polysecure. Works best when paired with the main book; on its own, some context may be missing.

• Therapy overlap. Some activities echo what you might encounter in counselling, which may feel repetitive to those already in therapy.

Why It Still Matters

Attachment theory can feel abstract until you apply it to lived relationships. The Polysecure Workbook helps readers do just that — turning concepts into practice. For non-monogamous people, it’s particularly valuable because it acknowledges the unique challenges of cultivating security across multiple connections.

For those who want not just to understand their patterns but to shift them, this workbook is a powerful resource. It doesn’t promise quick fixes, but it does offer the structure and tools to start doing the work.