Lucy Fairbourne continued this series with Submissive’s Guide to BDSM Vol. 2, which builds on the basics covered here and offers more advanced insights into long-term submission. You can read our review of Vol. 2

First published in 2016, Submissive’s Guide to BDSM Vol. 1: 66 Tips on How to Enjoy a Happy & Healthy BDSM Relationship as a Sub is a practical, bite-sized collection of advice aimed at submissives. Unlike more theory-heavy works (The New Bottoming Book, for example), Lucy Fairbourne’s guide is written in short, digestible sections — each one a tip, insight, or suggestion designed to help subs navigate the emotional, physical, and relational aspects of BDSM.

What It’s About

The book is structured around 66 tips, each focusing on a specific element of submissive life. Some of the recurring themes include:

• Self-awareness. Understanding your desires, boundaries, and limits before handing over power.
• Communication. How to articulate needs, negotiate scenes, and keep honesty at the centre of dynamics.
• Practical etiquette. From protocols and rituals to basic safety awareness.
• Emotional resilience. Handling jealousy, insecurity, and the vulnerability of submission.
• Relationship health. Avoiding toxic dynamics and cultivating trust, respect, and joy in play.

The advice is light, direct, and often presented as encouragement — reminders that submission is not about losing yourself but about participating actively in a consensual exchange.

Strengths

• Quick and accessible. Easy to dip into without needing to read cover-to-cover.
• Supportive tone. Frames submission as an empowering choice rather than passive weakness.
• Practical focus. The “tip” format makes it usable for beginners who want actionable reminders.

Weaknesses

• Shallow depth. At times the advice feels more like common sense than unique insight.
• Limited scope. Doesn’t engage much with the wider diversity of kink dynamics, queerness, or complex psychological layers.
• Repetitive. Some tips overlap or restate the same principle in different ways.

Why It Still Matters

For newcomers to submission, this book can be a gentle entry point — a list of affirmations and reminders that make the world of BDSM less intimidating. It doesn’t replace the depth of The New Bottoming Book or more comprehensive explorations of power exchange, but it serves as a handy reference for those just beginning to identify as submissive.

Think of it as a starter toolkit: not the whole map, but enough to help you set out on your journey with confidence.