Erica Scott’s Boundaries and Consent (2019) sits at the intersection of sex education, kink, and therapeutic practice. It isn’t just about saying “yes” or “no” — it’s about cultivating the skills to know what you truly want, communicate it clearly, and respect those of others. Where many books in this space focus on consent as a concept, Scott zeroes in on practice: the small, everyday steps that make consent real.

What It’s About

The book introduces and develops Scott’s “Consensuality Wheel”, a teaching tool she designed to help people explore and express their desires and limits. Through this, she highlights that consent isn’t a one-time checkbox but an ongoing, embodied conversation.

Key themes include:

• Boundaries as self-knowledge. You can’t communicate your limits if you don’t know them yourself.
• Consent as a dynamic process. It shifts with context, energy, relationship, and even mood.
• The role of power. How dominance, submission, and cultural conditioning complicate negotiation.
• Exercises for clarity. Guided practices help readers tune into what “yes,” “no,” and “maybe” feel like in their bodies.

Strengths

• Embodied approach. Instead of just talking about boundaries, it teaches you to feel them.
• Practical exercises. The worksheets and practices are concrete and usable, especially for educators or workshop leaders.
• Kink-informed but universal. While rooted in kink education, the lessons are equally applicable to everyday relationships.

Weaknesses

• Workbook style. Like Labriola’s books, this requires active engagement. Passive readers may skim without getting the benefit.
• Tone is instructional. More like a training manual than a flowing narrative.
• Niche visibility. It hasn’t achieved the broad recognition of The Ethical Slut or Polysecure, which means it can be harder to find community dialogue around it.

Why It Still Matters

In polyamory and kink alike, people often trip not because they’re malicious but because they’ve never been taught how to notice and name their boundaries. Scott’s work fills that gap. It’s less about lofty ideals and more about skill-building, making it especially useful for folks newer to consent culture or educators trying to model it.

In short: Boundaries and Consent may not be flashy, but it’s one of the most practically useful books out there for anyone serious about navigating complex relational and sexual dynamics with clarity and care.