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The Traffic Light System is a communication tool used primarily in consensual non-monogamy (CNM), BDSM, and kink communities to facilitate clear and effective conversations about comfort levels, boundaries, and consent during various activities.

At its core, the Traffic Light System employs three color codes—green, yellow, and red—to indicate different states of consent or emotional comfort.

  • Green signifies that an individual is fully comfortable and enthusiastic about the activity, indicating that they are willing to proceed and engage without reservations.

  • Yellow denotes caution. It suggests that the person may have some hesitations or boundaries that should be respected. This might involve pausing the activity for clarification, adjusting the approach, or checking in with the partner to ensure ongoing consent.

  • Red is a clear and definitive stop signal. It indicates that the individual is not comfortable with the activity at all, prompting an immediate halt to whatever is happening, regardless of the context.

The Traffic Light System is especially useful in dynamic situations where feelings may change rapidly, allowing participants to maintain a safe and consensual environment. For example, during a BDSM scene, a participant may start at green, but if they begin to feel overwhelmed, they might use yellow to indicate a need for a break or adjustment. If their discomfort escalates, they can switch to red to ensure the scene stops completely.

This system fosters open communication and trust between partners, making it a foundational practice in ensuring that all parties are comfortable, respected, and safe throughout their interactions.

The Traffic Light System is a tool used in various contexts, including BDSM, kink, and consensual non-monogamous relationships, to communicate boundaries, preferences, and comfort levels. It involves using the colors of a traffic light (green, yellow, and red) to indicate different levels of consent and willingness in a given situation.


Green Light: This signifies full consent and enthusiasm to proceed with a particular activity. In the context of a Traffic Light System, a "green light" indicates that the individual is comfortable, interested, and fully consents to the activity at hand.

Yellow Light: The "yellow light" indicates caution or a need for adjustment. It can mean that the individual is hesitant, unsure, or wants to proceed with caution. In this case, it is essential to communicate openly, make adjustments, or check in to ensure everyone involved feels comfortable and safe.

Red Light: This signifies a hard stop or a clear boundary. If someone uses the "red light," it means they do not consent to the activity, feel uncomfortable, or want to stop immediately. It is crucial to respect this boundary without questioning or pressuring the individual.

By using the Traffic Light System, individuals can communicate their boundaries and consent levels effectively, promoting a safe and consensual environment in various relationships and interactions.

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About the Author: Gareth Redfern-Shaw

Gareth is the founder of Consent Culture, a platform focused on consent, kink, ethical non-monogamy, relationship dynamics, and the work of creating safer spaces. His work emphasizes meaningful, judgment-free conversations around communication, harm reduction, and accountability in practice, not just in name. Through Consent Culture, he aims to inspire curiosity, build trust, and support a safer, more connected world.

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