Key takeaways

• Ethical non-monogamy depends on emotional honesty more than structure.
• Clear communication reduces harm better than restrictive rules.
• Boundaries protect connection when they are owned rather than imposed.
• Care and accountability matter as much as desire.

Ethical non-monogamy is not about getting permission. It is about taking responsibility.

Opening Hearts is a grounded, practical book that approaches ethical non-monogamy through the lens of communication, emotional responsibility, and consent. Charlie Glickman focuses less on labels or configurations and more on how people talk to each other when feelings, needs, and mistakes arise.

What this book is about

The book frames non-monogamy as an extension of skills that matter in all relationships: honesty, empathy, and self-awareness. Rather than presenting a single model, Glickman emphasizes principles that can be adapted to many relational structures.

• Emotional honesty. Naming feelings without using them to control others.
• Communication skills. Speaking clearly about needs, fears, and limits.
• Boundaries. Distinguishing self-protection from restriction.
• Repair. Taking responsibility when harm occurs.

Why this matters for nonmonogamy

Many people approach non-monogamy by negotiating rules in advance, hoping structure will prevent pain. Opening Hearts argues that no structure can replace the need for ongoing emotional skill. This makes the book especially useful for people who want to practice ENM without relying on hierarchy or control.

Strengths

• Skill-focused. Centers communication and accountability.
• Ethically grounded. Emphasizes care over entitlement.
• Adaptable. Useful across many non-monogamous styles.

Limitations

• Less structural guidance. Readers seeking specific relationship models may want companion texts.
• Assumes willingness to self-reflect. Works best for readers ready to take responsibility.

Why it still matters

As non-monogamy becomes more visible, it is easy to focus on configurations and permissions. Opening Hearts redirects attention to what actually sustains relationships over time: honesty, empathy, and repair. It remains a valuable bridge between consent culture and everyday relational practice.

Related reading

• Opening Up – Tristan Taormino
• The Relationship Bill of Rights – Eve Rickert