Power, Control, and the Illusion of Consent

In love, it’s easy to confuse agreement with equality.

Many of us have been in relationships that looked balanced on paper — shared rules, open discussions, mutual decisions — yet quietly tilted beneath the surface.

For Stella — whose honesty, courage, and wisdom remind me that equality in love isn’t a destination but a practice. Your story shaped this work more than you’ll ever know, and through your grace and strength, you’ve reminded me that even through heartbreak, love remains a lesson worth learning.

Unequal Agreements explores what happens when “agreements” become tools of control, when fear disguises itself as care, and when one partner’s freedom begins to depend on the other’s comfort.
Through reflection, personal insight, and community voices, this series invites you to look deeper at how power moves between people — and how we can return to relationships built on trust, curiosity, and true consent.

Here you’ll find essays on jealousy, gendered control, one-sided non-monogamy, and the healing that follows imbalance. Each piece is written to hold complexity without judgment — because learning to love ethically means learning to see ourselves clearly.

Start anywhere. Read slowly. Reflect deeply.

Each article in this series is a mirror, offering new language for the moments we once stayed silent.

All posts below are part of the Unequal Agreements series.
As new reflections are added, they’ll appear here automatically.

Closing Reflection

The opposite of control isn’t chaos — it’s connection.
When we trade permission for partnership, when we replace fear with dialogue, when we meet jealousy with curiosity instead of containment — love expands.

This series isn’t about blaming those who set rules or shaming those who followed them. It’s about learning together how to love without disappearing, how to speak without fear, and how to build relationships that honour autonomy as much as attachment.