Kate Loree’s Open Deeply: A Guide to Building Conscious, Compassionate Open Relationships (2022) positions itself at the intersection of polyamory, psychology, and trauma healing. Loree is a licensed marriage and family therapist with a background in art and kink communities, and the book reflects that mix: part therapy, part memoir, part workbook, all centred on the idea that open relationships demand a deeper level of self-awareness and compassion than most people are taught.

What It’s About

Loree brings a trauma-aware and attachment-informed lens to ENM. The book moves between storytelling — her own experiences and those of her clients — and practical strategies for handling the emotional turbulence of multiple loves.

Key themes include:

• Trauma in relationships. How old wounds and survival strategies show up in open dynamics.
• Emotional regulation. Techniques for calming spirals of jealousy, fear, or abandonment.
• Conscious relationship design. Moving beyond “don’t ask, don’t tell” into agreements that are explicit, flexible, and caring.
• Compassion as a practice. Not just toward partners, but toward yourself — the self-work that keeps ENM from crumbling under stress.

Strengths

• Trauma-informed. Few ENM books take trauma this seriously; Loree makes it central.
• Blends story and strategy. The mix of personal narrative, client vignettes, and practical exercises keeps it engaging.
• Emotionally intelligent. Compassion is treated not as a fuzzy ideal, but as a skill you can practice.

Weaknesses

• Therapy-heavy tone. Like Fern’s books, it reads more like a self-help/therapy guide than a rallying manifesto.
• Niche framing. Readers without trauma history may find sections less relevant.
• Less community focus. It’s more about individual and couple dynamics than broader polycules or community organising.

Why It Still Matters

Open Deeply is a bridge between polyamory and therapy — a reminder that to love many, you need to know and soothe yourself first. It adds depth to the canon by acknowledging that open relationships aren’t just communication puzzles; they’re arenas where our deepest wounds often get triggered.

For anyone who has found themselves overwhelmed by emotional flashbacks or reactivity in ENM, Loree’s book offers tools for not just surviving, but growing. It belongs on the shelf right alongside Polysecure and Polywise as part of the trauma- and psychology-informed wing of poly literature.