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Maintaining anonymity on FetLife requires careful management of your profile and interactions to protect your personal identity. Start by choosing a username that doesn’t include your real name or other identifiable information. Use an email address specifically created for FetLife, separate from your personal or professional accounts.

When setting up your profile, avoid posting photos of your face, tattoos, or any other distinguishing features unless you’re comfortable being identified. If you share pictures, consider using image editing tools to blur or crop sensitive details. Review and adjust your privacy settings to control who can view your profile, posts, and activity. FetLife allows you to limit visibility to friends only or to specific groups.

Be mindful of the information you share in your posts, comments, or messages. Avoid discussing specific locations, workplaces, or personal details that could link back to your real identity. Lastly, consider using a VPN for added security, ensuring your online activity is encrypted and your IP address remains private. Taking these steps helps you enjoy the community while maintaining your anonymity.

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About the Author: Gareth Redfern-Shaw

Gareth is the founder of Consent Culture, a platform focused on consent, kink, ethical non-monogamy, relationship dynamics, and the work of creating safer spaces. His work emphasizes meaningful, judgment-free conversations around communication, harm reduction, and accountability in practice, not just in name. Through Consent Culture, he aims to inspire curiosity, build trust, and support a safer, more connected world.

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